Salmon is expensive. I assume it’s because it takes a lot of money to get the camera crew out onto the ships for those stupid “I’m a big burley fisherman” reality shows. You know what’s frightening? Someone watches those shows. No clue whom, but if I meet one of them I’m going to slap them soundly on the forehead and hope it jostles the tiny bit of shriveled up matter they call a brain.
I digress… (As usual)
Salmon is expensive, so I really suggest that if you’re going to spend the money and the time to make a salmon dinner, you make it for you and your lover only (If your lover is also your spouse, KUDOS!).
Seriously… this is one of the fastest/easiest dinners I know. The only reason it’s not made in my house more often is the cost of the fish.
I actually know a few ways to cook salmon. I find this fact distressing and I’ll tell you why; if you happen to inadvertently retain recipes in your head there are a couple of things that can happen… neither of them is good.
1. People will expect you to be able to cook at a moment’s notice. Rather than being the one that couldn’t POSSIBLY be called upon to help in the kitchen, or to cook a dish for a church function (HA!!), you become the one that can be trusted around sharp kitchen implements and huge burn-ey hot stove thingies. THIS IS BAD! You’ll have to duck requests for cooking help all the time, and there’s only so many times you can claim to have projectile leprosy in one year without looking stupid.
2. You give up valuable brain real estate. You need all the memory retention space you can get as you get older. Filling your brain up with something as ridiculous as recipes is just a waste of space. Space that could be used for important things like where you left your keys, what you told your spouse you paid for the new shoes so that if asked you can instantly recall that little whopper or my personal favorite, where exactly is that “Safe Place” you keep putting important crap that you can’t seem to find to save your life.. But at least you know its ‘safe’. (I keep all important crap in a safe place. The problem is its safe from me, too. Little bag of sucky right there, I’ll tell you.)
OK... So… here’s a little ‘Choose Your Own Cooking Adventure' game I’ve come up with. Wee! Cooking is FUN! YAAAY.
(Told you... make a game out of it or you’ll want to beat yourself to death with a wooden spork)
(Told you... make a game out of it or you’ll want to beat yourself to death with a wooden spork)
Choose the applicable answer below and proceed to the area it tells you to...
· Must have Salmon, Seafood Stuffing (available at most fish counters in your local grocery store), a bag-O-salad and a tube-O-bread.
b. I have about 30 minutes to make dinner and get me the hell out of the kitchen. (I CHOOSE RECIPE B!)
· Must have Salmon, Ranch Dressing/Miracle Whip, Bag O salad, Tube O bread.
c. I have about 15 minutes to make dinner, I hate you and all people that make me feel the need to cook for these ungrateful wretches I call family members.
(I CHOOSE RECIPE C!)
(I CHOOSE RECIPE C!)
· Must have salmon, Ranch Dressing/Miracle Whip and a bag O salad.
