I hate to cook. Unfortunately, due to society dictating gender roles, or simply the fact that my family may just become retarded the moment they step into the kitchen, or simply because there are times I want to eat and don't want to rely on frozen pizza, it falls to me to make meals. I'm creative, so I have come up with some interesting things to make that taste good, keep the family from openly weeping in hunger, and are super fast so I can get the hell out of the kitchen.
AKA: OMG! I got roped into cooking for a bunch of freeloading guests!
(See “Blank alerts” to figure out the blank and blank part)
This recipe is super easy and I’ve had many people truly believe I know what I’m doing in the kitchen after eating it. You can easily make it for one, two, or seven people (although if you’re cooking for seven people you are not slacking successfully).
Blank = a couple o’ things:
I say this because this is one of those recipes that you can mess around with to get different flavors. You cannot have this exclusively all week though. I tried that and was shut down pretty quickly by a family that can sometimes get wise to my wile-y dinner ways.
Let me start off by saying that over the years my mother had told me I need a Crock-pot. Not only did she tell me I needed one, (In that tone only a mom convinced of her infallible advice, can use.) but each time she came to my home and I DIDN’T have a Crock-pot, she would show up the next time with one. Usually a used one she got at a yard sale. This went on for years. Years of me waiting till she left the house to grumble, complain and heft poor Mr. Used Crock-Pot out to my car and to the nearest Salvation Army (They apparently need many, many Crock-Pots to survive.)
Recently I decided to try one. I had to buy one (at a thrift store) because I had finally shown my mother that I was not going to be lured into being a Crock-Pot fan-girl, no matter what she did. Trust me... the irony was not lost on me. Neither was the $5 I had to spend to get my own dull brown and gold cooking vessel which I’ve recently upgraded. (BTW… I have a free gold and dull brown Crock-Pot if anyone wants it. I’m a damn hoarder, I swear.)
If you hate to cook, buy one of these suckers. I swear, it doesn’t instantly turn you into a domestic house frau.
Here’s my number one Crock-Pot dinner cop out that your rotten family will more than appreciate. As a matter of fact, they’ll love it and probably do one of the following;
a)Sing you songs.
b)Pick you flowers.
c)Compose sonnets to your greatness.
d)Hoist you to their shoulders and carry you round and round while cheering and throwing pastel colored confetti.
(Or they’ll say ... “yeah... that was pretty good... Gotta go tweet some crap about stuff and junk.”)
has spent years being crafty. Sometimes for fun, sometimes for necessity. I truly believe that most of what you see in stores can be easily reproduced, almost exactly and that it's far better to find old objects and revamp them into works of art, than to simply purchase them new.
